How To Start a Blog

In a flurried rush of 48 hours, declare that you are a “REAL AUTHOR” and purchase your blog website. Tell your husband and sisters. Wait for laughter and judgement.


No laughter, some questions. Next step, give them your answers to their questions: “I have no fucking idea. None at all. Oh, and by the way… I need you guys to help me with this.” Cue the real laughter.
Buy a small, relatively inexpensive chromebook at the store. Get it home and realize that you hate the keyboard. Return it. Buy another reasonable chromebook. It is a small body of magic.

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Proceed to stare blankly at the screen as you contemplate why you thought you could write. Remember that your last paper was in college long, long ago. Scream quietly inside of yourself.
Bite all of your nails off when your husband asks how the writing is going a few days later. Get gooey when your brother in law and hubby start sending you information on how to start a successful blog. You have not written anything yet.
Suddenly, small articles begin pouring out of you at a high rate of speed. You feel a glimmer of hope that maybe you are not a complete loser so you continue with setting up the blog site. Husband tells you that you really ought to have a Twitter account because “It’s all about the Twitter!” Laugh maniacally as you tell him you will NEVER open a Twitter account.
Set up your Twitter account. Ask your sister in law how the heck Twitter works. Threaten her that if it is even HALF as confusing as Snap Chat, you are OUTIE. Copy all the people she follows as you are basically the same person. Thank her kindly. She thinks you are psycho.

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Start sending your articles to a few very close friends and family for honest feedback. Try to act nonchalant and cool about them not responding IMMEDIATELY after you hit send.
Start panicking that you are not producing enough content or will be unable to keep up with the requirements of a successful blog. Talk to your mom. She tells you that you are the best at life. You believe her because you are drunk, and catch some sleep.

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Thanks, Mom!

Next morning you get your first feedback on the site, and it is positive. You trust these family members and make a note to self that if this fails it is because they have TERRIBLE taste in writing, and is not a reflection on your abilities AT ALL. Stupid best friend family members.
Keep writing. Erase. Repeat five hundred thousand times. You are up to about ten short posts now. You call them articles and think about getting a writing hat or something. You are becoming legit now.

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Start planning which posts to share first, and when. Ask a few more friends for feedback with a soft open of your site. Think of 500 plus Facebook friends judging the site when it goes live and have a few mini heart attacks. Puke twice.
Decide you don’t care (that much) about what people think and continue writing and prepping. You are getting excited and enthusiastic and terrified. Night and day think about your blog, your writing style, your topics, when you will next have time to write, and why you discovered this crap at 35 and not 20 when you were thinner. Start to complain to your spouse about your job and family because they take up ALL OF YOUR WRITING TIME. Haha, just kidding Spouse. Love you guys.
The day comes. You are ready, prepared, positive. You are also nervous, terrified, and vulnerable. Remind yourself that you are doing this for you, and that it is ok to fail. Take a few deep breaths, check your Twitter, Facebook, website and… POST.

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You are live for all of your friends and family to judge and enjoy. Make yourself a drink and step away from the laptop.

You did it, you started your blog!

*Note – Results are not replicable and the above process is highly discouraged.

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10 thoughts on “How To Start a Blog

  1. seafoambagel20 says:

    The hard part is over! Just by starting you’ve already accomplished more than a alot of people in life! Your site is cute and your writing is great. Follow your dreams no matter what it takes! (It rhymed, kinda) I’m proud of you, you’re awesome~ 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • coherentwithcoffee says:

      Bahahahah! Thanks Katriel. I really know absolutely NOTHING about this. At. All. I guess I wanted a direct .com site that was easy for my internet – challenged mom to get to. I figured if I was going to jump into this, why not purchase the site as incentive to keep at it, and commitment? In my head I was also sort of thinking like if you have a gym membership, you feel guilty when you don’t go right? Lol. I am sure blogging is not always roses, and wanted something to keep me honest. I also just like the simplicity of a ________.com address. Thank you for the extremely kind words 😄

      Like

  2. Dee says:

    Congratulations! It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there. No judgement here. I think your blog will help other moms like myself who can relate but don’t have the guts or talent to blog. Let me refill my coffee and keep reading (another episode of Team Umizoomo just started so I got 20 more mins) 😃🤣

    Liked by 1 person

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