Ode to Steve

I work swing shift, usually 12pm to 8pm, and I really enjoy it. Never a morning person, I am able to get my six year old on the school bus and spend some quality one-on-one time with my toddler. I also can get in a quick walk or jog on the treadmill, throw a couple of loads of laundry in, and pay some bills before heading to work. Then, I am not too tired to get everyone tucked into bed and have a couple of hours to myself (when that wants to work out – thank you recent child illnesses). It is usually pretty glorious. This is also how I binge watched seven seasons of Game of Thrones in October 2017. WINTER IS COMING!

My husband works overnights, getting up at 1 or 2am. The upside of this schedule is that he really enjoys his job, and he is home by 11am everyday. Some of you are probably salivating while reading this, as we do not have to pay for childcare! Hallelujiah!

When I used to work day shift, we paid hundreds for ONE child per week, and that was not even full time hours. How do people afford multiple children in childcare and have any money left over at the end of the week?! They often do not have a choice is my guess. For the birds, now that I have experienced the other side.

My husband and I sacrifice our quality time, though. For sure. He goes to bed immediately when I get off work, and when he walks in the door in the morning, we have a few minutes to give shift report before I report for duty at work. Needless to say, we value our time off work and very limited time as a complete family unit.

Hubby was off work the past week, just a staycation, as this year we couldn’t get more than a week off together at the same time between our different full time gigs. I think it is so funny that even though we miss each other all the time, it is a BIG readjustment to adapt to the other person being suddenly AROUND all the time. And we actually like each other’s company (I think…. Right, Dave? Dave? Buehler?!)

Suddenly the other person is there all the time, and your alone time to recharge is limited. It throws you for a few days. Not that I didn’t want to spend time with him, just that change is, well… change. So strange how you can live with someone and see them less than when you did not live together.

Anyhoo, Dave goes back to work tomorrow and he had to go to bed at 7:30pm tonight. I AM FEELING SO SAD! Now that a full week has past, I have adjusted to spending more time with him and sharing more similiar schedules. It was nice. We laughed at stupid sitcoms and binge watched Westworld. We talked about our kids, and not just who had pooped and who had practice and when homework was due. We played with our kids, together. We accomplished tasks, together. We lived our lives, together.


I think it takes a special couple to either work together and see each other 24/7, or else work completely opposite shifts and still remain intact as a couple. We have had the luck in our lives together to do both. We managed a self storage facility for a few years, and even met at our jobs many moons ago (Italian Dreams love – thanks, Jules!) Now we work completely opposite, full time shifts and are raising two crazy little boys together, sometimes just passing ships in the night as we get through another demanding day.

As I miss my husband tonight and my boys are (fingers crossed) sleeping soundly, I am feeling nostalgic, in love, and a bit sad that his vacay is approaching its demise. Sorry to get gooey, but I am not always a sappy person, so when this feeling hits it strikes hard. Sort of like a punch to the gut.

He is the most hard working and selfless man that I have ever met. We will be married for 16 years this year in August, together for 18. That will be more than half of my life at that point.  He still makes me laugh and is my perfect complement. He knows how to push every button and also, support me when I really need him. He is the most wonderful father, a better dad than I am a mom. I still choose this guy, every single day. No one in their right mind would have put up with me this long that wasn’t a loon, and I love him for that quirkiness too. 

He was the most supportive partner when I started this blog. He said I could do it, sent me funny memes, and gave just the right amount of feedback. When he finally saw his name in print, he was admittedly a bit surprised. He was not the biggest fan of being named, and he is waaayyyyy more modest than I am. I remember laughing, and I told him that I could have named him ‘Steve’, but now if I suddenly start talking about my husband ‘Steve’, people will think I’m a polygamist freak and stop reading. At the very least, some confusion. He agreed.

I know there are many kinds of relationships out there, all special in their own right. No one can truly know the inner workings of another couple’s relationship, but if you could, you would see what a freaking amazing person my Steve is. He makes us, us. I am just sitting here thinking about how grateful that I have Steve and our weird little family, warts and all, to call home. It has been a good 18 years, Steve. Thank you. I love you.


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