Today I felt like garbage. It was my day off – a Tuesday – after working the weekend. I had so many plans, so many checks on my ‘To Do’ list to knock out. And you know what I got done? Pretty much nothing.
Yesterday at work I had one of those migraines that builds throughout the day, no matter what you do. I took OTC pain medication, used ice, pounded water, ate something, ate something else, and rubbed my head without relief. I fell asleep clutching my head and sobbing. Today when I woke up, it was better, but I was still off. I hate that feeling where nothing hurts, but you feel foggy, weak, and just overall icky. The worst.
So I gave myself permission to rest. The clothes I was going to organize in my closet… still sitting there. The bathrooms I was going to clean…. still dirty. The laundry I was going to put away… thanks, Steve. The kids I was going to take to the park…Youtube to the rescue!
I did manage to get to the local store and grab snacks for my kid’s last snack day this school year. I did manage to write a few things today. I did manage to shower and get dressed mid-day.
When you see a friend on Facebook and they appear to have it all together, I can assure you. They do not. They may have some periods where things are going swimmingly and they feel invincible. They may have the cutest fall pictures in front of a quaint red barn door, with impeccably dressed children and a sweet pup at their side. But they have these crappy days, too. Neither you nor I am immune to them. Facebook is certainly just a highlight reel.
The days where you feel like you are failing as a mom (or dad). The days where you can’t seem to get it together. The days where you forget something important. The days where you are lonely but also don’t feel like talking to anyone. The days where you are struggling at work. The days where you are bored and feel unchallenged. The days where time drips slowly by, unforgiving in its mundane passing. The days you look like crap and run into everyone you know at the grocery store. The days your migraine takes over and makes you puke and sob. Those days.
They happen. Today was one of those days for me. Here’s a reminder that I can offer which has only come with experience: Those days will pass. They will, even when you feel like they will never end. Tomorrow you may still be on the mend, but the great thing about the rainy days is that they sure do make you grateful for the sunshine. I know my mood will instantly lift the moment I feel… nothing. No ickiness, no clouds, no yuck. Feeling “normal” is truly a gift, isn’t it? And perspective is everything.
Just get through it. You most certainly do not have to smile through the crud. You can cry, puke, scream, vent, and wrestle your way through. Each time that you do, you build your resiliency. You prove that you have done it before and will do it again. You cannot always control how you feel, but you can try to change the perspective from which you view your struggle. That is where your power lies.
Garbage days will come, that is a given. There is beauty within the struggle though, if we can make the choice to see it. Ability to learn something from our pain and discomfort gives us an edge in future endeavors. Perspective is everything.