Someone needs to get these apple cider donuts out of my house, stat! Who the heck thought I would have the willpower to resist their sugary goodness when I purchased this 12 pack from the pumpkin farm?! I see now that I was lying to myself, full at the time off an ice cold beer and fresh, buttery corn on the cob. As I polished off my 4th donut today, I thought ‘Wow, I cannot be contained. Hello, Fall leggings and baggy sweatshirts!”
Actually for the past five weeks I have been sort of watching what I eat. Not perfectly healthy by any means, in fact I haven’t done much other than logging all of my meals, snacks, and drinks on my cool fitness app Lose It. It’s free, though you can pay for premium upgrades. I myself like free, thankyouverymuch. I like that I have become more aware of what I am eating and when, looking for trends and avenues to cut calories in small ways. Hey, how about that 70 calorie bread instead of 100? How about instead of FOUR DONUTS you try one? How about throw a vegetable in that big mouth today, hmmm gorgeous? That sort of thing.
I figure, I have been stringent in the past and quit when I got bored or forgot to log. So my initial goal was just logging everything from here on out, as honestly as I can. If I can curb my calories and lose some weight, great! If not, well at least I am realistically taking a look at my eating habits so that I can make better choices. In addition, I have been walking and moving more, using my fitbit to set goals and just move increasingly throughout the days.
I am down ten pounds so far. And I feel…. The same, basically. I have never been one of those people who can notice 5 or 10 pounds. My clothes fit the same, my tummy still looks like I really love tacos. You know what? I do. I do freaking love tacos. I will never be perfect and my self-esteem does not come from a number on a scale. It just feels good to know that little changes are making a difference, even a very slow moving difference.
I do feel a bit guilty about the dang donuts today, but then I just thought to myself… HEY. Your son has croup. Your job is still new and while exhilarating – also exhausting. Your other kid had homework and an attitude tonight. You are getting a sore throat and feel like garbage. One day of donut madness will not kill you. So tonight I enjoyed my fourth donut of the very long day with a glass of skim milk and a sleepy, tired heart. There are only so many autumns left in our lives.
Tomorrow is a new day with less donuts to tempt me, and I have faith I will make it through the holidays without gaining a million pounds (maybe). I’m here for these yummy seasonal treats, and I’m here for the long run in self-improvement. Never a fad, never dishonest, never disappointed. This body has grown two beautiful boys. This body takes me where I need to go each day. This body pushes through when my mind says “Give up already!”. This body bares the scars of past injuries and surgeries. This body is mine, and it is a miracle.
As I log this last bad boy in my food journal, I would like to take the time to remind you that your body is also amazing. Wrinkles, rolls, and grey hairs included. Listen to it, work to become healthier when you are able, but don’t forget to occasionally be gentle with yourself. 5k training starts next week and I plan to bring less temptation into the house. If you see me at the finish line of the Chicago Hot Chocolate 5k, however, I will NOT say no to an apple cider donut. Hope to see you there!