The Hug Connection

I love to read. Mostly fictional mysteries, but when I get bored, I will pick up a magazine and read the articles (and yes, the articles, not the dirty pictures). One day, I was waiting in a doctor’s office reading their outdated magazines and I came across an article along the lines of: “How to connect with your partner”. I thought, well I can give this a shot! Maybe they have tips and secrets that I don’t know about. Maybe I will razzle dazzle my husband with some mind reading skills to blow up, er, blow his mind. Or maybe I will just laugh at the silly ways people think work. In this case, it was the latter.

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I was particularly interested in the section about hugging. It said that if you hug your partner for 2 minutes per day, you will achieve a stronger connection. Now, it did NOT say whether these 2 minutes needed to be consecutive, but I got the impression that it did. My overly imaginative brain starts daydreaming off into a scenario of my husband and I standing in our kitchen, our three young children running around tearing up the house, a small fire ignites in the living room while the dog and cat are now hairless. And there we stand, blissfully in this embrace, eyes closed and feeling our relationship wrap a warm towel around us. And I bust out laughing. Like out loud. Patients around me give me the scolding glance as we should all be quiet because it’s a waiting room. I am not sure why I finished the article, but I was already invested, so I ventured forward.

Later that day, I get home and I tell my husband about the silly article of hugging for 2 minutes and we both laugh about it and continue our normal routine of 101 things we have to do to function as a family in the evening. It was a brief discussion of how hilarious that would be and that was it.

The next morning, my husband and I are getting ready and he gets upset over something I did. I can’t remember what it was because I was barely listening. To setup the important part of my story, we were standing in the kitchen and we have a stove top with a microwave above it. So, my husband’s back is to the microwave and he is saying something like “Why would you do that…blah blah blah…” and I just stop and face him. I notion for him to come here and I grab that burly man into a big hug with my arms around his shoulders. It was then that I reached out and hit the buttons for “2 minutes” on the microwave. All he can hear is “beep beep beep beep”. He lost it. He was trying to keep a straight face, but he couldn’t contain himself into full blown laughter. See, my husband knows I’m funny. But he won’t admit it. He says that it only “encourages” me to keep it up. So, when I say or do something funny, he tries very hard to brush it off. But I know better. As we are still standing there in this warm embrace, he breaks out of our love hug and says through his muffled laughter “Why do you have to do crap like this? I was all upset and you have to go and do this and now I can’t be mad anymore!”

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I am not sure how he puts up with me most of the time. I am a lot to handle with either goofing around or a hot temper. Some say he is a saint for marrying me. I like to think he enjoys the show. I mess with him all the time and he used to get upset, but now after nine years of marriage, he barely blinks an eye. It’s about time that I up my game. And now every time he gets upset, I motion with my hand for him to come in for a big “2 minute” hug and diffuse the situation. He laughs and tells me no. That’s a real marriage. Love from a distance.

 

Written by: Sara Garcia de Alba

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Those Moments

I consider myself a fairly intelligent girl. I got good grades in school, decent amount of street smarts and can be professional when I need to be. Still, for some reason, I have my moments. Those moments that sneak up and make you question how you put your socks on in the morning. I like to believe these are my blonde moments. As embarrassing as these moments can be, it doesn’t stop me from telling everyone and anyone who will listen. I probably find them more hilarious than anyone else and I probably laugh harder while telling the story than my audience. I think it is because I vividly recreate the entire scene again in my head and it becomes funnier.

Which leads me to telling you my story of when I was a young gal. Just starting a new job in the Graphic Design world and feeling pretty proud of myself. I was single and free. At the time in my life when I could do my hair and makeup in the morning all by myself in peace and quiet. The only responsibility I had was to look cute and fresh. Now that I am older, married and have three young kids, it’s hard to imagine those mornings. I often wonder if I could put that amount of effort in now, would my “mom bun” and Lula Roe leggings be just as cute? Anyway, so I dress in the cutest Angora (fake) cardigan, adorable slim fitting shirt, oh-so-fitted perfect jeans and my new pointy-toe heels that have a dainty strap. The kind of strap that takes at LEAST 45 minutes to buckle as you contort your leg in the opposite direction to use one hand to get that little tiny metal “stick” into the tiniest hole and then try to thread the whole strap so it’s not flapping in the breeze like a broken wing.

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On my way to work I decide to bring in Dunkin’ Donuts to schmooze my way in with group. I parked in the parking garage and came to an intersection where it’s fairly busy to cross the street. I was strutting down the sidewalk like I was Kate Upton (sans the large jugs) with the box of doughnuts and my coffee sitting on top of the box. All of a sudden, I start sinking INTO the ground and I look down and I am dredging my beautiful dainty shoes through wet cement! I had already made it half way through, so I figured I had to finish the deed, by hopping like I was on stepping stones, into the street. I run across the street without looking, but I still have one more street to cross to get to my work. I look over and there’s the worker smoothing out the opposite corner of wet cement with sheer perfection. He saw the whole thing go down and he just kept working and staring at me while shaking his head. Probably thinking how dumb I was to NOT see the small board on the ground that was blocking off the wet cement. And how he was now going to have to go redo all of his perfect work.

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I sped past him with wet cement blocks as feet and finally make it inside to safety. I fumble to the lobby washroom and I set down the doughnut box. By now, it was soaked from the coffee that had tipped over and ran all over the top of the box. Miraculously, I didn’t have a drop of coffee on me! And still had some to spare to drink! As I look down, I am trying to assess the situation and worry about not being late. So, I get into my contortionist position by hoisting the ol’ block onto the sink and start pawing at the buckle to get my shoe off. I knew that this was risky, but I just started washing my shoes off in the sink. The whole time PRAYING the sink wouldn’t back up as the cement slid down the drain. I finally clean myself off and took a few breaths before entering the office.

The rest of the day went rather well as I sat the box of doughnuts near my desk (first ripping off the flimsy and wet top of the box so no one would notice it’s brownish/white color). I couldn’t help but giggle to myself as people came up to take a doughnut and comment on how they all tasted like a hint of coffee. I tried to maintain a seated position as my shoes were pretty much wet all day and squeaked as I walked. Not to mention the hardwood floors that amplified the sound for all to hear.

pexels-photo-273773.jpegLater, when I was more comfortable with my co-workers, I spilled the beans on what had happened to me. By this time, they knew me well enough to laugh and shake their heads as if they weren’t surprised. I did find out that another woman in the office had done the same thing of walking through wet cement around the same time I did. Interestingly enough, she was also blonde.

 

Written by: Sara Garcia de Alba