Those Moments

I consider myself a fairly intelligent girl. I got good grades in school, decent amount of street smarts and can be professional when I need to be. Still, for some reason, I have my moments. Those moments that sneak up and make you question how you put your socks on in the morning. I like to believe these are my blonde moments. As embarrassing as these moments can be, it doesn’t stop me from telling everyone and anyone who will listen. I probably find them more hilarious than anyone else and I probably laugh harder while telling the story than my audience. I think it is because I vividly recreate the entire scene again in my head and it becomes funnier.

Which leads me to telling you my story of when I was a young gal. Just starting a new job in the Graphic Design world and feeling pretty proud of myself. I was single and free. At the time in my life when I could do my hair and makeup in the morning all by myself in peace and quiet. The only responsibility I had was to look cute and fresh. Now that I am older, married and have three young kids, it’s hard to imagine those mornings. I often wonder if I could put that amount of effort in now, would my “mom bun” and Lula Roe leggings be just as cute? Anyway, so I dress in the cutest Angora (fake) cardigan, adorable slim fitting shirt, oh-so-fitted perfect jeans and my new pointy-toe heels that have a dainty strap. The kind of strap that takes at LEAST 45 minutes to buckle as you contort your leg in the opposite direction to use one hand to get that little tiny metal “stick” into the tiniest hole and then try to thread the whole strap so it’s not flapping in the breeze like a broken wing.

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On my way to work I decide to bring in Dunkin’ Donuts to schmooze my way in with group. I parked in the parking garage and came to an intersection where it’s fairly busy to cross the street. I was strutting down the sidewalk like I was Kate Upton (sans the large jugs) with the box of doughnuts and my coffee sitting on top of the box. All of a sudden, I start sinking INTO the ground and I look down and I am dredging my beautiful dainty shoes through wet cement! I had already made it half way through, so I figured I had to finish the deed, by hopping like I was on stepping stones, into the street. I run across the street without looking, but I still have one more street to cross to get to my work. I look over and there’s the worker smoothing out the opposite corner of wet cement with sheer perfection. He saw the whole thing go down and he just kept working and staring at me while shaking his head. Probably thinking how dumb I was to NOT see the small board on the ground that was blocking off the wet cement. And how he was now going to have to go redo all of his perfect work.

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I sped past him with wet cement blocks as feet and finally make it inside to safety. I fumble to the lobby washroom and I set down the doughnut box. By now, it was soaked from the coffee that had tipped over and ran all over the top of the box. Miraculously, I didn’t have a drop of coffee on me! And still had some to spare to drink! As I look down, I am trying to assess the situation and worry about not being late. So, I get into my contortionist position by hoisting the ol’ block onto the sink and start pawing at the buckle to get my shoe off. I knew that this was risky, but I just started washing my shoes off in the sink. The whole time PRAYING the sink wouldn’t back up as the cement slid down the drain. I finally clean myself off and took a few breaths before entering the office.

The rest of the day went rather well as I sat the box of doughnuts near my desk (first ripping off the flimsy and wet top of the box so no one would notice it’s brownish/white color). I couldn’t help but giggle to myself as people came up to take a doughnut and comment on how they all tasted like a hint of coffee. I tried to maintain a seated position as my shoes were pretty much wet all day and squeaked as I walked. Not to mention the hardwood floors that amplified the sound for all to hear.

pexels-photo-273773.jpegLater, when I was more comfortable with my co-workers, I spilled the beans on what had happened to me. By this time, they knew me well enough to laugh and shake their heads as if they weren’t surprised. I did find out that another woman in the office had done the same thing of walking through wet cement around the same time I did. Interestingly enough, she was also blonde.

 

Written by: Sara Garcia de Alba

 

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Momming Doubts

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Can I get a redo? A restart? A refresher?

Motherhood…like seriously, how is one supposed to know if they are doing it right, doing it too right, or downright failing? I know you read all the quotes, memes, blogs that say “you’re a damn good mom even if your laundry isn’t done?” Or “ you are an amazing mom no matter what you do.” ACTUALLY not really. I am trying so hard to be tough and teach my kids respect and to be a good person, but am I too tough. How do you figure out if my expectations are too high or way out of reach. I am a teacher, I see A LOT of kids come and go that are downright disrespectful and I think that is why I have set the bar so high. And of course there are the “be mean but not too mean, or be their friend, but definitely not their BEST friend. Where is the line ladies and gentleman?

Today, my daughter ( 5 ½) had a rough naptime (2 hours) at school, preschool, daycare, whatever you want to call it. She was loud and crying and being her over-emotional self. She got in trouble. I don’t stand for not listening to her teachers. We got in in the car, I told her we needed to talk about it. Tears…tears….louder tears…louder and louder tears that she didn’t want to talk about it . The mom vs daughter comes out and gets more mad because she is seriously crying and I don’t know why. She asked to say something, I of course let her, all she is saying though is “ You won’t let me talk.” Insert more frustration by me. My poor almost 3 year old son is just looking at us, wondering what is happening. She then says “she’s so mad she is going to throw a shoe at me.” This part probably should have made me laugh and look at what was happening, but at that point I was more mad. She has now lost her bike for a week. I could go on and on about how this conversation/tantrum went on but pretty sure most of know how it goes, you get mad, they get mad and eventually dies down.

So….tonight at her tap class I sat with other moms talking about this incident, and one mom really made me think. ( She is also a friend that teaches early childhood teachers, so she knows a thing or two, so her ideas are well respected) She talked about different approaches to discipline and different ways of doing things, not better, just ideas. So of course the ideas made me question everything I have done since her birth.

Maybe I have done it all wrong, maybe my approach is not the right way, maybe I need to stop trying to create this perfect child. But how when all I want is to raise a good human being in this big scary ridiculous world. I don’t know the answers. Can we get a redo, can we erase and try again? Will they remember?

I guess I will attempt to try and answer my own question. Trial and Error? Hopefully my kids will grow up to be decent human beings, but I guess at the end of the day we have to go with our gut and do what is best. In the meantime I will try and re-evaluate my approaches and standards and keep on momming the best I can.

Ode to Steve

I work swing shift, usually 12pm to 8pm, and I really enjoy it. Never a morning person, I am able to get my six year old on the school bus and spend some quality one-on-one time with my toddler. I also can get in a quick walk or jog on the treadmill, throw a couple of loads of laundry in, and pay some bills before heading to work. Then, I am not too tired to get everyone tucked into bed and have a couple of hours to myself (when that wants to work out – thank you recent child illnesses). It is usually pretty glorious. This is also how I binge watched seven seasons of Game of Thrones in October 2017. WINTER IS COMING!

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Watching the Game

I am sure many people watch their children at their activities and think, Wow! Jimmy is so good at basketball, or Sara is so cute when she kicks the soccer ball around. Until this month, I never really had that satisfaction when watching my oldest in any of his activities. I was always anxious at these events.

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Is he going to hit someone today, or poke them incessantly until they cry? Is he going to listen to the instructor or get sent out of class for a reset / time out because he is not listening again? Why is he bouncing around like that during swimming class, when no other kid in this crawling-with-children swimming pool is behaving this way? Is he going to lash out, angry that he is unable to focus or keep up….again?

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