Go Get ‘Em, Ma!

Well she did it, folks! My mom retired from the Postal Service after almost 38 years. Did she retire to sip leisurely from tropical drinks on the beaches of Florida? Well, no. In fact, she starts her new job next week… teaching preschoolers (insert shudder here).  

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Clutter Control

Clutter. It is my mortal enemy, and yet it seems to creep back into even the most organized of our lives, doesn’t it?

I try to wipe down the countertops every night, clearing them to at least trick my brain into believing that I have some sort of control over the chaos that is currently living with two littles. It works, until I have to find something in the bottom of a junk drawer and I come to face to face with all of the crap I have thrown there over the past several months. This always summons the purge.

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A Partial Staycation

Growing up as a kid we were lucky enough to take vacations almost yearly, heading to Disney World, California, and even a cruise. In our reality today, that is just not an option. Luckily, my parents have a place in the Dells that is a (relatively) easy 2.5 hour drive and better yet, FREE. The best kind of vacation in my opinion.

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Caught with Your Hands Tied

I have always surrounded myself with laughter. I love to tell and re-tell hilarious stories. Whether they happened to me or I just happened to be there. I realize that the victims in my stories may not find it as funny, but to be a good story teller, you have to take risks.

My friend, Marge (name is changed to protect the embarrassed), was a very shy girl. Total opposite of me and probably why we get along so well. Because she was so shy, every embarrassing thing ALWAYS happened to her. So in this piece, I dedicate one of her top stories (believe me, there are more) to my sweet, beautiful friend, Marge.


Photo by Vinicius Wiesehofer on Pexels.com

It started when my best friend and I were young girls. Just budding into womanhood and getting comfortable (literally) with our new bras and self consciousness. We were both tomboys so baggy shirts and jeans were our staple back then. We liked to go out to my grandma’s house and roam the neighborhood.

One day, we were taking a shortcut back to the house. We get to this tall fence that was right beside a park and boys about our age were playing a game of basketball. Of course we needed to act cool while climbing up. I jumped over and was very proud of my awesome dismount off the fence. Still feeling cool and hoping to get a few lookers, I hear Marge yell my name. The visual I saw next will never escape my mind. It was classic. It was epic. IT. WAS. HILARIOUS.

Here is Marge, standing on the ground with her scrawny arms pinned above her head. Her new bra and all she had grown is out for all to see. She is caught standing there while her baggy shirt is stuck at the very top of this tall fence. I instantly burst into laughter. I could barely climb up the fence to release her shirt. I have tears rolling down my face as she’s yelling at me to hurry. As I’m hopelessly helping my dear friend, you could hear the basketball from the game next to us slowly stop dribbling to a dead stop on the ground.

I look over and the group of 5 boys are staring at us, mouths hung open. I am sure this visual will never escape their minds as well. They just stood there in awe of the faceless girl with the rosette bra, yelling for help.

grayscale photography of three boys beside steel fence

Photo by Zaid Abu Taha on Pexels.com

I finally unhook her shirt and Marge is freed. She is now standing there, face to face to a bunch of drooling boys and her face darkens about 6 shades of red. In a flash, she just takes off and I’m left running after her still rolling with laughter over the whole ordeal.

Not only is Marge upset that she just flashed a bunch of boys for what felt like 10 minutes, she also tore her favorite shirt. I had to stop laughing long enough to pay respect. Later on, her mom had sewed the hole. But I couldn’t help but giggle every time she wore it. I should have stolen it and framed it for her next birthday.

We still laugh about this story today. Probably me more than her. I think these stories bond us closer together. Even many, many years later, I can still vividly remember the entire scene as if it were yesterday. I learned a lesson that day. ALWAYS climb fences with caution. And when no one is looking.

By: Sara Garcia de Alba