I live with high functioning depression. If you met me casually you would probably never guess.
I work swing shift, usually 12pm to 8pm, and I really enjoy it. Never a morning person, I am able to get my six year old on the school bus and spend some quality one-on-one time with my toddler. I also can get in a quick walk or jog on the treadmill, throw a couple of loads of laundry in, and pay some bills before heading to work. Then, I am not too tired to get everyone tucked into bed and have a couple of hours to myself (when that wants to work out – thank you recent child illnesses). It is usually pretty glorious. This is also how I binge watched seven seasons of Game of Thrones in October 2017. WINTER IS COMING!
I was working several weeks ago when my six year old got home from school, promptly running up to my room to share some news. He was nervous and worried. “Ok, Mom. I have to tell you something bad I said at school today. You have to promise to not get mad.”
I am sure many people watch their children at their activities and think, Wow! Jimmy is so good at basketball, or Sara is so cute when she kicks the soccer ball around. Until this month, I never really had that satisfaction when watching my oldest in any of his activities. I was always anxious at these events.
Is he going to hit someone today, or poke them incessantly until they cry? Is he going to listen to the instructor or get sent out of class for a reset / time out because he is not listening again? Why is he bouncing around like that during swimming class, when no other kid in this crawling-with-children swimming pool is behaving this way? Is he going to lash out, angry that he is unable to focus or keep up….again?
Change is scary. Most people are content to go with the status quo, and any change is perceived as a negative, even if the change would bring forth positive results.
In a flurried rush of 48 hours, declare that you are a “REAL AUTHOR” and purchase your blog website. Tell your husband and sisters. Wait for laughter and judgement.
I bet most of the millions of bloggers out there in the world felt an almost overwhelming fear when they go live with their first blog post. I sure feel that way now.
Whom among us likes to feel fearful, step out of their comfort zone, dare to chance an utterly embarrassing failure? NOT ME! Oh sure, there are those few daring souls that thrive on the thrill of possibility. Again, they are most definitely not me. Continue reading